25 Ways to Provoke Our Children to Anger

I came across this list from the Counseling One Another blog. Jamie and I went through these and were embarrassed at how many of these we have committed. We printed a copy of these out and put it on the fridge. Over the past week, we have stopped each other (mainly her stopping me) in the midst of interactions with the girls and said, “I think that’s on the list.” Obviously, every time our kids don’t like a situation or statement we make, doesn’t mean their reaction is our fault. But, there are many times we needlessly make things hard on them, thus instigating an angry reaction.

Here are 25 common ways we do this from the book The Heart of Anger by Lou Priolo.

  1. Lack of marital harmony
  2. Establishing and maintaining a child-centered home
  3. Modeling sinful anger
  4. Habitually disciplining in anger
  5. Scolding
  6. Being inconsistent with discipline
  7. Having double standards
  8. Being legalistic
  9. Not admitting you’re wrong and not asking for forgiveness
  10. Constantly finding fault
  11. Parents reversing God-given roles
  12. Not listening to your child’s opinion or taking his or her ‘side of the story’ seriously
  13. Comparing them to others
  14. Not making time ‘just to talk’
  15. Not praising or encouraging your child
  16. Failing to keep your promises
  17. Chastening in front of others
  18. Not allowing enough freedom
  19. Allowing too much freedom
  20. Mocking your child
  21. Abusing them physically
  22. Ridiculing or name calling
  23. Unrealistic expectations
  24. Practicing favoritism
  25. Child training with worldly methodologies inconsistent with God’s Word



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